Last year, after trying on about 100 swimsuits, I bought a swim dress. It's in a navy and white Hawaiian print, which I thought was cute when I bought it, but now just looks old-ladyish to me. Whenever I wear it, I feel like it is not so much a swimsuit as an admission of defeat.

Note: I found so you can see what I'm talking about.

I can't let that stand. I have plenty of athletic swimsuits for swim practice, but for lounging by the pool, all my options have their own flaws. One is a bra-sized tankini that gives me way too much cleavage -- it might fit better if I could lose 10 pounds.  I went swimsuit shopping again on Thursdsay, and the only one that I felt great in was a , which costs way more than I can justify for a swimsuit.

Wednesday's  mentioned this episode of swimsuit shopping as one of my own anchors. I actually now have an ordinary, non-miraculous bathing suit photo as the lock screen on my iPhone.  I thought that was the end of the story -- put up with what I have until I can fit into something better than the dreaded swim dress.

Vickie helpfully reminded me of Land's End's great reputation for swimsuits, and they are currently having a 40% off sale on swim. Since I have a Sears near me, I took advantage of the ability to order with free shipping and do the returns at Sears for free to order two suits to try: A and one with a . Both of these suits together cost less than the Miraclesuit.  It will be nice to be able to try them on at home instead of under scary dressing-room lights.

I also noticed that Macy's has the same style suit I liked at Dillard's, but in , and their suits are on sale right now.  I am tempted to order one of those to try too, or just go to my Macy's and see if they have it in stock to try there. I love color, but maybe for camouflage black would be better?

I spend a lot of time in a swimsuit in the summer, so it does seem worth investing some money to feel good in what I'm wearing.  Does anyone else have any shopping tips to share?

What I love about most this program is all the data that is now available to members. I used to try to track my points used, activity points earned/swapped, and weight loss for that week on an Excel spreadsheet. The Weight Watcher's app tracks all that and more, with nice graphics. As you can see, I have not been very diligent about tracking my healthy checks, but I am going to work on that.

I also love the new meeting format, which is much more focused. You'd think that would keep people from sharing, but it actually focuses in the comments on things that are actually interesting and useful.  One of the members in my meeting made almost me cry this week talking about anchors (reminders that help you remember your motivation for losing).  There were several quite touching responses to this prompt, and I left the meeting feeling really energized.  I had been feeling demoralized when I walked in because I had tried on about a dozen bathing suits, and the only one I liked was a $162 MiracleSuit (which was surprisingly miraculous, but still, almost $200 for a bathing suit?).

With my down, up, up, down weight results, I'm still at an average of 0.8 lost per week, so imagine what I can do if I really get serious! Maybe I can get back to the point where I might look good in a non-miraculous bathing suit.

I was going to write one of those "What I did last week" posts, but it was boring even to me. So I'll just hit a few of the highlights.

After a strong start the first week, I had let my Weight Watchers plan lose a lot of steam, and I want to do better this week.  I have been experimenting with the Simply Filling plan here and there.  I made up a big batch of Spanish brown rice on Friday (Sorry, Margo, didn't try your recipe because I didn't think I could find the product you used).  Having the leftovers made doing SF very easy yesterday -- I made one of my Chipotle-style rice bowls with it and some rinsed canned black beans.  I'll give a longer review of Simply Filling once I have more time to play around with it, but I like it a lot so far.

 The hamstring is getting better. Yesterday I did a 10-mile bike ride with my husband in the morning, and swam with my Masters' group in the evenings.  It felt good to be training like a triathlete again. I really enjoyed the swim -- because of the light turnout, our coach had us do a time trial, and then gave us all different starting times so that we could race.  I was the fastest woman out of four by a few seconds in the time trial, but even though I sped up a little in the race, I didn't win.  It was fun to work out with intensity -- that's what I really miss when I'm limited by an injury.

The sports medicine doctors want me to try a return-to-run program, so I have done the first couple of days of the Ease into 5K program.  It's even more gentle than the program they recommended. Running is the only thing that seems to test the injury now, and even that is not too bad, so I think it's healing nicely. I'm still babying it -- not coming close to the three days per week that the doctors' recommended program would have me run.

My massage therapist has me doing some  to help build up my foot strength.  She thinks that imbalance there is the root cause of all these problems.  She also wants me to wear my Yoga Toes  each night to help with my bunions. She suggested that we do some kettlebell work together after she has a chance to evaluate me, and I think that would be fun. I find regular weight lifting so dull unless I have someone to do it with. Again, I need that intensity, or at least some social interaction.

Once I finish up this post I'm going out for Day 3 of Ease into 5K, and then spending the day with family by the pool.  I love this gorgeous weather -- it makes it easy for me to get my steps in!

I just got back from a trip to Utah for an academic conference. We were about 40 miles south of Salt Lake City in the Utah Valley.  I loved the scenery. It was amazing to always be in view of these gorgeous mountains in the distance.

The conference organizers had set up some after-hours activities for one of the nights, and I opted to go zip lining. I was a little scared of the idea, but it was actually not scary, just exhilarating, and the crew running it seemed very safety-conscious and conscientious, so I was able to relax and enjoy the thrill instead of worrying that I was going to die. We had a group of ten women, and everyone had a great time.

My body didn't love the desert air -- I was guzzling water constantly.  I was happy that the campus we were on had water-bottle filling drinking fountains, so that I wasn't wasting money and plastic to stay hydrated. The conference food was fairly healthy -- not the usual food and coffee overload. In fact, maybe because we were in Utah, the conference coffee was mediocre and in short supply, so on the second day I went out and got a Venti coffee from Starbucks and an egg sandwich (since a Continental breakfast was planned, and I figured it would be all simple carbs).

I had rented a car for the trip, and since I had a little time between the end of the conference and the time I needed to drop the car off at the airport, a new friend and I went to see Temple Square on the way back to the airport. I loved the gardens.



I had a complicated trip back home.  I got to the airport with plenty of time to get through security, get a salad with grilled chicken (instead of the incredible-smelling fried chicken that was right at my gate) to eat while I waited, and get on the plane. My plane to Denver was delayed, and after landing, we sat on the runway for almost an hour because there was a backup at the gates. I was obsessively checking my Flight Tracker app to see if I was going to make it out to Detroit.  It looked like I would miss it for sure -- to the point where I didn't even rush to the gate, just walked there normally and stopped to use the restroom -- but it was delayed too and I managed to get in line just as it was boarding. The crew for that flight had been on my plane with me, apparently.  I landed in Detroit after 2 a.m. on Wednesday, and then I had to wait for bags that never arrived, make a baggage claim, and drive home. By the time I got in bed, it was 4:15 a.m.

I slept most of yesterday and then went to my Weight Watchers meeting. I knew it wouldn't be a good week. I always retain water when flying, and with the late-late arrival that morning, and the fact that my food hadn't been totally on-point while I was away, I was happy just to maintain.  I got my four-week keychain.  I'm going to really focus on the Good Health Guidelines this week and work harder to stay in my points range.

I like this post by Emily, because it perfectly expresses the way I have been feeling:

when people find me and see “weight loss,” they want to know results. The truth is: I can’t give you the numbers you want. . . There’s only so long you can talk about your weight before it becomes a complete obsession. Every emotion gets tied to it. And it really makes you dislike yourself.

A weird scared face I make sometimes

I'm getting tired of blogging about the same old things, so I was inspired by a post by Comeback Momma  to blog about my own biggest fears:

1. Being unloved -- worse yet, having someone pretend to care about me when they really don't.

2. Overhearing people talking about me -- I don't like to sleep when other people are awake for fear that I'll overhear something bad about myself.

3. Getting old and sick -- I watched two grandmothers decline from very vibrant, healthy people to very fragile and demented states in a short time.  I especially would worry about other people having to take care of me in that state (see fears 1 and 2).

4. Having my loved ones painfully decline and die.

5. Being confined -- Literally, but also figuratively.

6. Big, creepy bugs -- Especially in hotel rooms, I worry about running into these.

Not exactly a lighthearted post -- even I can laugh at #6, but the rest are powerful stuff.

When I first injured my hamstring, I was in so much pain that I didn't want to do much of anything. I only grudgingly did the gentle stretches given to me by my sports medicine doctor.  I just felt too bad. I'm talking "I guess I don't need the thing I left downstairs because it would hurt too much to go get it" bad. It was pretty demoralizing to feel so helpless.

This week I have been feeling better, so I have been gently doing more activity. Not a lot of official exercise, but doing more around the house and some easy walking around the neighborhood. Yesterday, for the first time in a long time, I hit my 10,000 steps goal.  Today I went to my Pilates Circuit class, which is a full-body interval-based strength workout. There are only 6 of us in the class, so I knew I could get help modifying anything that didn't work for me with my injury.  It all felt fine. Just to be safe, I'm icing my knee right now.

I am going to be visiting with my family this weekend, so I'm going to have to be careful not to overdo it when playing with my nephews. But I'm glad that things seem to be progressing nicely. I am going to try a little easy biking today and may try to go to swimming practice tomorrow night.

For next week, I'm thinking of trying yoga, swimming, and maybe some strength training. I see the doctor again on May 14, and that should help me to decide where to go from here. I'm grateful that this was a muscle and not a joint injury, since the chance of a full recovery is so much better.

Because I lost 4.2 yesterday, if I can even lose 1 pound, I will get a 5-pound star at my next meeting. That would be a great goal. But a stretch goal would be to lose 2, so that even in the evening with all my clothes on, my BMI would be under 30.

Obviously I can't directly control the number on the scale, but I can control what I do for the next week. I can follow the program. I can do my therapy exercises.  My hamstring is starting to feel a little better, so I can gently work on my step counts again.  I was able to get out and walk for half an hour last night.

Most of all, I need to keep my attitude positive. I can do this.

Tonight is my first weigh-in since I rejoined, so I thought this morning I could reflect a little on my first week back. This should be the easy week -- I could tell that I was losing at least water weight -- with all the daily water, I felt like I was in the bathroom 20 times a day.  I thought I was good at drinking water without tracking, but apparently not. A consequence of eating more fruits and vegetables is that I'm also getting more water from my food.

I went over my points a little this week, mostly on two days -- yesterday I didn't plan well enough and was busy all day, so I grabbed a tube of almonds for a snack that turned out to be 7 points.  I should have checked first. Sunday I overindulged at my parents' house.  The other days were fairly easy for me -- I didn't feel too hungry, even though I was eating a lot less and choosing different foods than I do normally. I can definitely tell that the fruits and vegetables make a difference -- when I had a lot of them and spread them out through the day, I felt satisfied all day. On a day like yesterday when I only just barely got my minimums and most were at the end of the day, I felt hungry.

I'll check in later tonight with my actual weigh-in, but I expect to have a pretty good week. Not an insanely good first week -- some people lose 6-7 pounds their first week, but I never have -- but a solid loss. We'll see if I'm right.

One thing I really like about the new eTools -- they calculate some things I have been wanting to track, including average weekly weigh-ins and average daily PointsPlus usage.  That is going to make it a lot easier to see how things correlate. The geeky stats person in me really likes that.

Dark floral Cherry Velvet dress from Gwynnie Bee

April was a very stressful month (I refuse to make another misguided T.S. Eliot reference) and ended with my injury, which has turned out to be a hamstring pull and not a joint injury. My husband, a track nut, says that this is an injury usually reserved for elite sprinters. Lucky me! But seriously, muscles heal better than joints, so I do feel lucky.

May has started out much better. My injury seems to be getting better, and I have backed off on the anti-inflammatory meds because they were really bothering my stomach.

One good thing is that the injury pushed me to rejoin Weight Watchers, something I have been dithering about for a while. I have been doing some unofficial weigh-ins at home, and it is astonishing how fast I have lost in the last few days -- almost one pound per day.  I don't want or expect that rate to continue, but it definitely helps me to feel like I'm doing the right thing, especially since I'm not finding it that difficult so far.  I know that it's probably the Weight Watchers version of the "pink cloud effect," but I'm enjoying it anyway.  Following the plan isn't easy, exactly, but it gives me a structure that I feel like I need right now.  I went out to dinner last night, and with the plan in mind I chose not my first- or second-choice entree, but something that would fit well within the plan, still taste good, and let me enjoy the evening without feeling guilty. I weigh in officially on Wednesdays, so we'll see what their scale says.


Last night's dinner was to celebrate my promotion -- not a new job, but an elevation in title and a salary bump. This is something I have been worrying about since I applied for it in October.

I wore this dark floral dress and we went to a downtown restaurant with a riverfront view.  It is always fun to get dressed up and go out on a date. We saw a few teenage couples there having dinner before prom, lots of Disney-princess style dresses and hairdos, which was cute. I was glad to see more pastels and young-looking fashion -- for a while, girls were wearing very glamorous but adult-looking dresses for formals. Those sophisticated dresses were gorgeous, but I think it's nicer to see high-school girls looking young and fresh.


I was glad that felt pretty in what I was wearing, too. I had considered buying this dress, but I think it's going to be one that I wear a few times and send back -- it's very pretty, but too memorable to wear often. Dark florals are very on-trend right now, which means that they might feel really dated by next spring.

toledolefty ZOODLES!! got this handheld spiral slicer for nine bucks on Ebay. 0pp! … http://t.co/WushafG84p
— Margo Porras ()

I accidentally bought three of them, so I hope they work well.  I think these will be great in the summer when zucchini are everywhere.