I'm still getting the hang of Intuitive Eating. I succumbed to a feeling of being unmoored yesterday, wanting some sort of objective feeling that I was doing things right, and spent a day tracking with the LoseIt! app again. I sometimes miss the feeling of certainty that comes with joining Weight Watchers or starting a new diet. As Kelly Mcgonigal wrote in The Willpower Instinct, resolving to change is the best part of starting a weight-loss regime. It feels so good to resolve to change that you might start a program, fail, start again... just to get the high that comes from fantasizing about how everything will be different. I think that's a trap that is very alluring to me, and one I need to stay out of.
I've appreciated the responses I have gotten from everyone. I even had a whole blog post inspired by my writing here. The support means a lot to me. I am also starting to feel like I'm getting the hang of things. I didn't turn Intuitive Eating into a new set of rules to follow. I am focusing, as the new edition of the book suggests, on satisfaction. I'm paying attention to how foods make me feel long-term, too, not just while I'm eating them. I am trying to gently learn from experience instead of berating myself when I mess up.
I have seen other posts that aren't necessarily in response to me, but certain things I read on other bloggers' sites have strengthened my resolve to embrace self-acceptance and positive change. One blogger mentioned offhandeldly that she had three scales in her bathroom. I can't imagine a healthy place that having three scales would come from. Another blogger posted perfectly beautiful pictures of herself accompanied by vicious comments about how she looked in them. I see other people who tightly control their food for a while and then, when things are not routine, have a huge problem. I want to follow the 90-10 idea: Have healthy food 90 percent of the time but allow some small indulgences. I'm also getting exercise almost every day, but sometimes it's a walk around my neighborhood -- it doesn't always have to be hardcore.
I don't think the path is the same for everyone. I am definitely still learning and I am expecting that things will evolve over time. I want to get to a place where this is all not such a big deal. I want to take the focus off weight and food and put it on more important things.
I 100% agree!
ReplyJen I wholeheartedly hear you on this post. I think you are doing really, really well. "Evolve" is such a good word choice.
ReplyA friend & I were talking the other night how we've been on this undiet, mindfulness, whatever the hell you want to call it for a good 18 months or so now (???) and how there have been so many ups and downs but it still feels like the right path. Sure it's 18 months, but it was decades of craziness before that.
I think of the three-scales lady and another lady I saw on a TV doco who weighed slices of already sliced bread as she was so afraid of gaining weight, and I know I just gotta keep going.
Keep going comrade!
I was happy to find your blog. I've recently started applying the principles of Intuitive Eating and I've been looking for blogs of others who are doing the same because I find it helpful to read about the experience and insight of others. I love what you said about the rush (my words) you get from starting a new diet. I think I'm guilty of doing the same thing when I decided to try Intuitive Eating. But even though I'm just starting out I'm beginning to see that this isn't going to be a magic bullet but a long and ongoing process. Thanks for your insights.
ReplyThanks for the link!
ReplyI totally agree it matters what you do most of the time, you don't have to be perfect all the time...
It's hard to let go of the dieting mentality. But it can be done (even if it is hard to believe). You can find your way.
Kara